“We take care of the future best by taking care of the present now.” Jon Kabat-Zinn
While many of us love the holidays, they are not very good for our health. In the health professions the holiday period between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day is considered a risk factor for the onset of a number of acute and chronic conditions. The most common issue is weight gain, with an average increase of five to ten pounds between November and December that many struggle to shed after the holidays. Unhealthy patterns are not exclusive to the U.S. as numerous studies of global populations show similar patterns of poorer health that correlate with seasonal changes and cultural celebrations. Occurrences of influenza are highest between November and Christmas, except for last year which was, of course, dominated by skyrocketing rates of COVID. Emergency room visits are typically up by 5 – 12% during the holidays with spikes in the number of cardiac events, traffic accidents, broken bones, alcohol poisoning, and overdoses reaching a peak around Christmas and New Year’s. Even people who are typically in good health throughout the year have a higher risk of illness or injury as we move through the holiday season.
Welcome to December! I realize these dire statistics are a major buzzkill as we enter this festive month, but they help bring attention to the dangers of getting wrapped up in our desires. The gentle tug of pleasurable activities that starts around Thanksgiving—an extra glass of wine, missing a day or two of exercise—can, when left unchecked, quickly spiral into a wild ride of abandonment by New Year’s Eve. We may find ourselves deposited on the doorstep of January full of disappointment and regret, wondering how we got derailed after starting the season with good intentions. Even if you cruise through the holidays with a more balanced state of mind, at some point throughout the year it is likely you will fall victim to the temporary thrill of excess. For many, December is a month ripe with such opportunities.
More than revelry, we are entering a time in which transitions are front and center. December is the darkest month with the shortest days, a time in which the promise of the seasons has been fulfilled and the earth completes its journey around the sun. The arrival of the winter solstice on December 21st invites us to bring the year to a close while looking toward the future. The Latin meaning of the word solstice is “sun standing still” and is an opportunity for us to pause and reflect, looking back at the terrain we traveled while studying the road ahead. As much as December offers plenty of excess, the solstice offers us an important pause that is ripe for reflection, listening, and setting intentions for the year ahead.
At some point this month many of us will reflect on the events of the past year that impacted us. We may wonder what lies ahead as the new cycle begins. For some these thoughts may be informal, perhaps part of a friendly conversation in which your reflections are light and playful, or they may be part of a yearly ritual that includes meditation, prayer, or deep reflection. Whether you are dreaming of a trip to Bermuda or considering how to live a life that honors your values, the seeds of your desires will only take root if they are planted in the right soil, at the proper time, with conditions that will nourish their growth. Setting intentions requires careful planning, including gathering information that reflects a keen understanding of our past experiences, current resources, and a reasonable expectation of possible outcomes.
In the ancient yogic texts, our intentions are considered seeds that, when planted in the right conditions, will yield a certain fruit. Our desires are the seeds, which then sprout as thoughts that grow into action, eventually blossoming into our destiny. In practice, this description is simplistic, as we know that our desires, thoughts, and actions rarely follow such a linear path. Even the most skilled gardeners face unanticipated circumstances which alter their harvest. Decisions are not made in a bubble, as every moment that unfolds and every person we meet shapes our future in ways we can neither predict nor plan for. As much as our lives are changed by others, we exert a similar influence on the world as well. We are all bumping up against each other, continuously changing how life carries on. The best we can do is plan carefully, setting our intentions and caring for their growth with an appreciation of life’s vast web of interconnections. I once heard a rabbi quote a passage that aptly addresses this jumbled mess of individual choice mixed with life’s uncertainty: “Work as if your life depends upon you. Pray as if your life depends upon God.”
How will you prepare for the year ahead? Gardening is a good analogy for how we bring our desires to life. If you wish to grow certain fruits or vegetables, you can’t just simply dig a hole and drop random seeds in the ground. The process takes planning and preparation. What type of seed are you planting? What type of soil does it need? Can you provide the right growing conditions? When is the best time to plant? The care we take in creating our garden will determine what we yield at harvest. Similarly, the fruit of our actions will reflect the quality or tone of our intentions as well as the care and attention we provided to help them grow.
When we look at our past, we typically focus on the facts of our lives. We recall what we did, who we were with, the ways in which we and the people around us were behaving. But memories are notoriously ambiguous and incredibly faulty. Our minds prefer clarity rather than vague memories, so we try to nail down our histories with “why” questions. We mull through what we should or should not have done, or the injustices we believe were inflicted by others. We shine the harsh light of judgment on our experience which creates a one-dimensional picture of our past. This approach obscures the subtleties of who we were at that point in our lives, overlooking all the influences that shaped us at that moment in life. We need to examine our past with a softer light, appreciating that all of us are doing the best we can at any point in time, given our resources and experience.
The intentions, behaviors, and attitudes that color our past are the forces that pull us into the present moment. Most of us believe that the actions of others have the greatest impact on the direction of our lives, but it is our own intentions and deeds that have the most profound influence over our current situation. The stories we tell in the present moment about our past actions will influence how we move forward into our future. Experience is a powerful teacher, provided we view our past without judgment while searching for the truth of our present circumstances. We are well advised to examine our lives with eyes wide open, evaluating our current situation with courage and honesty rather than seeing only what we wish to be true. This type of wishful thinking can imprison us in unhappy relationships or miserable circumstances as our intentions never come to fruition. We get stuck in limbo while clinging to the belief that someday things will get better. Wishing does not create a future. Using our gardening analogy, you can’t expect to grow apples from a peach seed. We skillfully direct our future when we have the courage to face reality, however painful that may be.
We might ask, “How will my actions today impact me tomorrow, next week, a year from now?”. Our day to day actions are what shape our present and become the materials we use to build our future. It is true we cannot predict the future--the many intricacies of life are beyond our awareness--but we can strive to make good choices using the wisdom we gain from our past combined with a clear understanding of our current circumstances. The future typically unfolds quite differently from what we imagine, but we still flourish, not because we get exactly what we want, but by embracing whatever happens with a sense of curiosity and wonder.
Throughout December we will look at ways to skillfully evaluate our past, present, and future so that we can live with greater ease. We’ll examine the tools that help us formulate skillful questions that lead to answers that better inform our actions. Self-compassion is one of these tools, as it helps us to integrate our past experiences in ways that nurture and illuminate our most valued intentions. Truthfulness, although sometimes painful, helps us drop the heaviness of thoughts that weigh us down, cloud our vision, and keep us trapped in cycles of unhealthy behaviors. And lastly, in the spirit of the holiday season, we’ll explore the power of hope and how it can open us to possibilities, even when our options seem bleak.
Although December can be the least healthy month of the year, it provides us a chance to pause and take in the view. We don’t need to deny ourselves the joy that is part of the season, especially if we balance our celebrations with moments of reflection. I hope you take some time this month to pause, like the sun during the solstice, “standing still”, and with a sense of awe, look at how you have traversed the road of life this year. What experiences brought you to where you are now? Which of your experiences have been your greatest teachers? What are you doing today that will cultivate a brighter tomorrow?
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